Well, after two weeks of being here and continually meeting new people I have come to realize just how many walls I have built up around myself. I guess that the last six years of hurt have had a greater impact than I thought...and Ireally should not be surprised - but somehow I am. There are those of you out there who know how much I struggle with allowing myself to be vulnerable - a lot of people know tings about me...but also there is a whole lot more going on 'underneath the ice burg' (to use the analogy). I used to have no problem meeting people and asking questions...making conversation. But it seems that I have more and more trouble doing that - and I am starting to wonder whether I have subconsciously distanced myself. Therefore, I find that I tend to distance myself from people that I meet, especially if I have felt that I have shown myself too much. Sigh. I would like yo guys to pray that I would have the vulnerability that Jesus had with the people around Him. Please pray that I would also not have fear of people hurting me - but that I would be Christ to them in the moment.
Much love (and vulnerability) - I just broadcasted this on the INTERNET)
manda
3 comments:
We are the trumpets, God is the breath, you are the Jericho. Those walls are comin' down baby!
As with all things, practice makes perfect. I know that it is difficult to let go of your 'personal space' and let people in, but it will be a blessing to you to let them in! So open the doors, sweets.
I just got caught up on your blog! I'm so glad that you are not only teaching, but being taught so much! I can't wait to hear more stories and read more about the education system in Honduras. I'm glad that thus far your internet is working...that's a huge blessing! I'll be praying for you and thinking about you often!
God bless!
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