Well, the first three days of school have come and gone....and \i must say that I am very scared to be standing in front of a class, with 14 or 20 sets of ears listening (or some not) to what I say. Yikes! The text keeps running in my mind...that teachers will be under heavier judgement (I can't remember where it talks of that)...and I can see why. I need to train my tongue so that what I say in class will be edifying to everyone. It truly scares me that I am in some way influencing this generation's education. Oh humble pie, how I eat a lot of you.
Also, I feel like a very grumpy, witchy teacher...because I have to be so strict with discipline so that the class knows were the lines are and then I can 'ease off' - but it is awfully hard to be constantly threatening and punishing. Sigh. Hopefully in six months they won't remember. It is just hard becuase I feel that I am coming across so very different from who I am.
So on Tuesday I woke up for the first time thinking to myself: is this really the best use of your time in training for biblical counselling - needless to say, this question came with a feeling of dread about possibly having made the wrong decision. But then God quietly spoke in my ear and said: 'There are skills that I want to develop in you here, that you will need when you counsel' Things like diligence with time with me, prayer, and spiritual awareness.' I also think patience, and learning to walk beside my students. Tuesday went much better than Monday, which also increased my belief in my ability (but not much). I have so much to learn. Please pray that I will have the humility to be corrected and moulded.
manda
3 comments:
i know many teachers who are a)trained to be teachers and b)called to be long term educators shit their pants just as much as you are right now. so relax, trust, you're normal.
ps - you said crotchety, giggle.
That passage is from James 3:1, under the NIV heading 'Taming the Tongue'...it's a passage I often remember too, since teaching is my goal.
I laugh reading "very grumpy, witchy teacher", because I can clearly imagine you saying that, scowl, smile, and all! I have a lot of respect for your _the word that goes here means a combination of commitment, somewhat reckless bravery, trust, responsibility, resolve, and stepping-outside-comfort-zone-ness_. (Imagine I invented a word that meant all of that.) : ) I'll be praying for you...
ps. what type of Christian music do/would you like to receive?
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