The Nature of Waiting

In this season of the unknown, I have been led to reflect on the nature of waiting. Psalm 27 says that we are  to "Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage. Wait on the Lord. And He shall strengthen your heart."

I think society, and if we are honest - our human nature, is uncomfortable with waiting. Waiting is what you do before a meeting with a friend. Waiting is what you do when you are in line. Waiting is what you do for the bus.Waiting is what you do when you can't do anything.

But is that really true?

Scripture tells us that "waiting" is not inactivity; waiting is an activity. Waiting is a choice, not a consequence. Waiting implies intention, even in inaction. Waiting is a decision, not a default motion. Waiting, is an act, of hope, not hopelessness.

In short, waiting is doing something. The choice to wait, is in and of itself, a choice. It is not indecision; it is a decision. To hold out for something...or someone...is to decide for that thing or for that person.

So when I choose to wait, I choose to hold out for, to hope for, God. For His plan for me. Even if I feel that I am doing nothing, I am doing something: I am waiting.

"We don't believe in God.."

This statement came straight out of the mouth of an eleven year old boy, as he, with his brothers on either side of him, joined North Club for the first time this week. The other twelve kids were shocked into silence. So was I, if I'm honest. What a raw moment. "Well," I looked around at the group, "why do we believe in God?" The group sat and thought, and then a few tentative hands sneaked up.

"Because how would every thing have been created?" asked one girl, looking at the three boys. "Have you thought about how the world, how what we see today, came to exist?" I asked. The three shook their heads. No, they hadn't. "Well, we believe that God created the world. Though I'm sure you are going to hear in school that we came from a big bang..." And the conversation went on for a while.

Another hand. "Because no one could have invented all the things that are part of Christianity," another girl said. We all had a bit of a chuckle. "That's true." We made a little list: God who became a man. Died on a cross. But rose again.

[Insert mini-interaction. One five year old raises her hand and asks how Jesus was God. Another little boy, six years old, turns to her and says "because Jesus is the Son of God, and that makes Him God too." Priceless.]

"Well,"  I began, "I believe in God because we are surrounded by suffering, pain, and the brokenness in this world. Everywhere. But I also see good, I see love, I see happiness. And that doesn't come from us. That couldn't come from us. That goodness, that comes from God..." And so I moved into the story of the day.

They are their own theologians.

27 reasons to be thankful to be....27 (so original)

Here it is - two days late  - but in honour of my birthday I want to celebrate the things I've learned/gotten to do/am thankful for. In no particular order (or maybe in some sort of order...) and some serious and some not...here they are.

27. SOFT contact lenses. I did have hard. They felt like you had two pennies in your eyes.
26. Soccer (dear Netherlands, sniff...what are we going to do...)
25. Sushi of any sort
24. Volleyball - competitive - I admit I'm a bit of a snob
23. Hagelslag - not a swear word - and if you don't know what it is click here
22. Theodore
21. Jacob
20. Hetty
19. Laurence
18. Candace
17. Rachel (yes, some say that is cheating, but what else can you do with six siblings?)
16. My parents
15. the invention of scuba diving (I mean think about it, HOW, did that happen?)
14. that I learnt early that lying is not a good idea (yes there is a story here and it involves velcro shoes...hahaha)
13. Living in Honduras
12. Learning Spanish - I say "learning" intentionally.
11. That for once in my life having a name as dutch and a long as mine could be fun - I am still written down in the books through Central America as Amanda Van Helsing.
10. guitar
9. piano
8. my health - which seems to have a mind of its own - but I am still thankful
7. a growing desire to find something (not someone unless its me) to laugh at
6. friends - whom I am continually blessed to know and journey with
5. that I have gotten to study more and love it - yes I am a nerd -
4. traveling
3. sushi - did I mention that? - oh I must really like it
2. Afterbite
1. On a serious note, I am thankful to live in a country where the is freedom to openly worship Christ, and to have grown up in a family that follows Him as well.
\manda

The juxtaposed journey: a female...and in leadership. PART 1

I grew up in a church where the concept of female leadership did not exist outside Sunday school or the nursery. There were no female deacons, elders, and certainly - no female pastors. Women participated in the worship service with the use of their musical gifts, but that was as far as it went. I am not saying this as a judgement. It is just the simple truth. And I know that some of you reading this, still hold strongly to that belief. I would say that even some of my friends hold this belief. Others reading this may have always had female leaders in their churches, and have never thought twice about it. However, I feel compelled to write on this topic because I have been lead to service in, what I believed five years ago, was not a biblical vocation for a woman. The following, my reflection on women in leadership, is not meant to be judgmental, but is a honest discussion of my own journey.

Entering my final year of seminary, I strongly was convicted that if I was graduating with a Masters of Divinity (though my focus is in Pastoral Care and Counseling), at the very least, I needed to learn how to preach. "If you are getting a degree that says you are trained for ministry, then you need to be trained for ministry in every way possible" I thought to myself. And so I signed up for an introduction to preaching class, still unconvinced that it was something I should be doing.Certainly I was expecting my professor, a former pastor with 25 years of experience, to end the semester by saying something to the effect of "Well, Amanda, preaching is not your thing, but maybe try your gifting here."  ("Here" being anywhere but preaching.)

But that didn't happen. Instead I received immensely positive feedback from classmates and teacher alike. And surprisingly, I HAD SO MUCH FUN during the preparation and the giving of the sermon itself. Now I am not here to toot my own horn, because I have ALOT to learn about preaching, but the fact could not be avoided that: I was able to preach. And.... I enjoyed it.

SO NOW WHAT?

stay tuned....




\manda

Honduras: People it is STILL not over

Yesterday Mel Z tried to enter Honduras from Nicaragua - he was about as effective as bee without a stinger - all noise and absolutely no point. He stepped over the border - waved at some supporters and retreated back to Nicaragua because no one could guarentee his safety. Smart man. Keep playing for the cameras that Honduras is some military-crazy, out-of-control country that is in need of a wealthy farmer who-makes-deals-with-leftist-politicians to lead the country out of its primal actions. And there is Obama waiting to swallow Mel Z fish - in fact - he even has the tarter sauce to go with it. PUH-LEAZ. As if these pics don`t tell you enough about how the people are feeling:

sometimes...

sometimes you move almost exactly to the day one month before you move out of the country.

sometimes you move out of your house on days when it is really hot

sometimes you want to help move heavy things - but can't because your back is hurting.

sometimes you could get frustrated

or sometimes you could just enjoy the friends who are able to lift for you and laugh with you.

Earthquake!!!

Thursday: 2:24am - I am awakened by the vigorious moving of my bed - but I know that I am not the culprit. It takes a few moments to register that things are NOT normal - and in my subconscious I register the fact that the curtains are moving. But they are not moving in a way that hints at wind - but in a way that one would expect movement on a boat. I sit up - hoping to find the culprit lying on the floor shaking my bed - trying to make sense of this bizarre experience. Within seconds I feel very ill as I watch and feel my room move like a boat on some ways. Finally it registers - though it seems like such an impossibility I feel the need to immediately call for Katharine. To make sure I am not insane. But I am not. It is an earthquake!! The house continues to shake - and I glance out the window to see the walls moving - and our house is swaying like it is on water. I start to feel slightly seasick. After about a minute - the moving stops. And then silence.

Within minutes the cellphone networks are so busy that you are lucky if you get a call through. There is no internet - but we are one of the ones with power. Others don't have any. It is not until the next morning that we find out exactly what it was.

I had to go to sleep with the light on. I have felt shakes like before - but never to that extent. Wow - it is just amazing to me that the firm thing (or what I think is firm) really isn't. I think it is a call to attention when you get things like that. Nothing here is firm. We need God.

\manda

An interesting afternoon...

(the pics are off the field beside our house and our street - so not near the center of town where I was....I didn't have my camera.) But on the right - that is not a river it is a 2.5 foot deep drainage/sewer that is completely submerged.)

So I meandered into town this afternoon to sit at a bakery and catch up on some grading. (Yeah for the last time of ever having to mark Grade 11 History Exams!!!!) When I finished up I slowly walked down the street, heading in the general direction of home, but with no real intent of making a speedy trip. A few raindrops began to fall and before long I realized that this was not going to be just a quick shower - we were going to get a downpour. I pick up the pace and found myself in the local supermarket. And it poured and poured...hundreds of raindrops upon the metal roof (I love that sound) while I tried to look like I was buying groceries when really all I wanted to do was pay for my turkey bacon and leave.

But the rain didn't stop. And more and more people collected at the door and we all watched as the water level on the street rose higher and higher. Within less then half an hour the water had begun to creep up the entrance to the store. More people began to collect at the door - all of us hoping it would let up so we could leave. Alas, it did not...but instead the water level rose higher and higher until you could not tell anymore that there was a street - it was just a very large pond/river.

By this time I was bored out of my brain - and so I sat down in the restaurant and had a coffee while I worked on some more Spanish. (I know, I know...nerd...) It continued to rain, and when I had had enough I decided I would try to make my escape. When I returned to the front door they had placed sort of sandbags around the entrance and water was actually IN the store. We are talking like 2.5 feet of rain in less then an hour. I waited for someone to head outside - and finally a drunk man decided he was going to go for it. The doors opened and out he flopped - literally, because he fell and landed facefirst in the street-pond...after which he floundered around a bit, got his feet under him, and proceeded to fall AGAIN. (Much to the amusement of all of us waiting inside.)

Then the sun came out and the rain stopped. I decided it was my time to make a go of it. Slipping off my trusty Canadian tire flipflops I hopped over ther sandbags and onto what had been the sidewalk. Not a joke - the water was just under my knees. I waded through the pond the the amusement of other Hondurans around the corner. Eventually I made it onto drier street and padded home in my bare feet.

Life Lessons of Amanda: How to apply for Honduran residency #101

1) Move to Honduras
2) Begin application for residency.
3) Believing that you will only be there for one year state that you would like residency for one year.
4) Teach.
5) Wait for residency.
6) Really enjoy teaching
7) Decide to stay for another year.
8) Fill in more paperwork.
9) Wait
10) Wait some more while all workers in migration office are fired and new people are hired.
11) Wait some more after paperwork is stolen
12) Visit various places in Honduras and learn that if you had residency card you would pay Honduran prices and not "white prices."
13) Get frustrated.
14) More waiting.
15) Sign some more paperwork.
16) Decide that you are not going to return for another year.
17) Teach some more.
18) Learn that your residency needs to be ready within a month or you will have to start all over again.
19) FINALLY: go to capital to sign paperwork/
20) Get fingerprinted.
20a) Have powder bleach poured directly into your hand by the lady to wash off the ink stains.
20b) Proceed across government building with white powder in palm of hand, thinking, this cannot be happening.
21) Receive reciept for residency pickup within 60 days.
22) Realize that the date to pick up residency is exactlly to the DAY that you will be leaving the country for good.
23) Receive one year residency, two years after application.
24) Laugh.

Sorry foreigners...do you mind?

This may sound a bit like venting...and I think actually it is.

This past week found me travelling on a bus up north to meet my parents and sister. We came to a sudden stop in the middle of nowhere as a car had just gone off the road and was in the process of being hoisted back onto the road. As we sat there people started to alight from their cars including a couple in their early twenties. The girl was very obviously bored out of her brain and so proceeded to lie across the front of the car in various suggestive poses. Soon her boy friend was out of the car as well and the two them proceeded to arrange themselves very suggestively across the front of the car. Allthewhile more and more Hondurans were captured by this display.

I stood in the middle of the bus and was more and more embarrassed - and grew more and more angry - this was exactly WHY white girls have to deal with the reputation in Honduras that white women are "loose."

Please. When you are visiting a country, how you behave, how you treat the people of the country, every step, leaves behind baggage. And the people who are foreigners trying to make a home in the country and build relationships with the people there have to deal with the baggage that you leave behind. The stereotypes and the impressions that visitors to a country leave with the people affect the relationships that we build.

So please, next time you are visiting another country, please think of how you are representing others who bear the same skin colour, language, religion, whatever, to the people you are visiting.

Safety Second.

Yes. That is a power cable draped over the top of our bus. Safe.

To get the bus out the man lifted the cord high so the bus could back out. Safer.

Sometimes being a (white) girl can have its advantages...

A few days ago one of my friends lost her phone on a side gutter (which has little slats - that are like 4 inches - too small for an arm) late at night. She couldn't find it in the dark and couldn't go back to retrieve it the next day - and since I was heading that way I offered to see what I could do. Others had thier doubts - put I voiced my plan. I would stand where I found the cell phone and look really lost and helpless. This would, I hoped, allow me to ask people for help and maybe, elicit the muchismo of the some of the men, to retrieve the phone. I don't think my friends believed this was my actual plan - but it was.

So the following day Brittany and I headed down the street for lunch, intending on stopping on the way to see if we could spot the cellphone. We found the cellphone, and Brittany went on all fours and tried to reach it but could not. I stood there and looked around and my eyes fell on three boys of around 12 coming toward us. In Spanish I politely asked if they could try to retrieve my cellphone. They tried and tried but could not. Traffic started to slow down and people started to gather. I went off down the road to a restaurant that we frequent and asked for a broom and a mop. By the time I returned more people had gathered - including a small boy - who with the help of his father and the broom and mop handles - was able to retrieve the phone.

Yeah for turning a usual spectacle of white femininity into something useful.

\manda

Belize...but alas, no snorkelling...

We arrived in Belize to the welcoming customs officers who required that we open our bags and they peered in - patting the top items - and then proceeding to clear us through. Really, I could have smuggled in a person and then some with their thoroughness.

I must say that I really enjoyed the diversity of people in Belize; from fair skinned Spanish speaking Latinos to night-black akin-Africans the people there were laid back and friendly. I thoroughly enjoyed the relaxed culture - though when Megan and I experienced yet another tire problem on the bus through Belize - the men quickly mobilized together and had the tire changed with 20minutes!

It was also weird to remember that people could understand me when I talked in English - which I think may be a problem when I come back! It was only when I arrived in Guatemala that I felt more at home again because I had to switch back and forth between two languages. Amazing what you get accustomed to!

I also really emjoyed the bright colours of this place - many objects, especially houses, are painted bright and zany colours which make for a happy-go-lucky vibe where ever you walk.

Next stop: Gualemala

\manda

Sights & Sites of Central America

The week before Easter Weekend is very important in Latin America. It is called Semana Santa (Holy Week) and the entire country (pretty much) takes a holiday. So the past week we were able to travel to "far off" places - depending on your starting point - and see some really cool spots.




Sunday Megan and I headed out of town on a bus to meet our friends up north. About 1 hour in there is a big bang - the bus has run over a large piece of metal - but in everyone's best interest but the health of the bus - we continue to drive at a steady pace of around 23.4km/hour until a group of men decide that we should pull over and see if they can get it out. They can't - so on the bus we go again. Half-naked sweaty babies are crying, mothers are breastfeeding - and people are getting restless. So are Megan and I. The bus pulls over again and flags down another bus - we quickly alight and board the other bus along with four screaming children and their mothers. The bus takes off leaving the rest of the disgruntled passengers on the side of the road. I have no idea why they are left there...but we are on the bus and that is what is important. The driver, for lack of better expression, drove like a bat out of hell, and we arrived in San Pedro in record time.






We boarded another bus for about another hour - and bumped along the road. This time, thankfully, there were no tire problems. We met up with our friends in Puerto Cortes, where we stayed the night, and early the next morning took the ferry to Belize. (pic: the reef which I sadly did not get the chance to snorkel because the boat would have left me behind)


Next post: Belize

How to make tortillas #101...

Last night I began to study at "La Escuela de La Tortilla." (The School of the Tortilla.) The following is the notes that I scribbled after class.

1) Ask vendor at tortilla stand (where we go every week after Youth Group) to teach me how to make tortillas.

2) Show up right before a group of Honduran men - so that you can immediately put your learning into practice and make baleadas (tortillas with beans, cheese, and sour cream - see picture below) for them.

3) Have the lady start you off with a small piece of dough. Flip the dough back and forth between both hands, with quick, hard bursts. (as seen in picture.)

4) Miss catching dough with one hand. It lands in the dirt.

5) Pick it up to try again - not to waste dough because it most likely will happen again - only to be told that the dirt ruins how the dough spreads.

6) Receive a tea towel and must use it to imitate the same motions as above.

7) All people around laugh

8) Pass Level 1 - now graduate from tea towel to using real dough.

9) Very slowly with great force - almost create a round tortilla. Which is fixed and then placed on a hot plate to cook for less then a minute.

10) Continue to practice making baleadas - which are served to customers arriving.

11) Make my own baleada and eat it. Lick fingers. Yum.

12) Have vendor-lady's husband request that I make his baleada.

13) Do not wash hands.

14) Start with a piece of dough and "correct" motions. Do this facing the wall so that no one can see.

15) Complete tortilla.

16) Have satisfied customer. Receive payment of large bottle of coke.

17) Leave vendor stand with many people laughing at two white girls.







\manda

A small difference...

Yes - believe it or not this is me running with three 15 year old boys on the beach. This happened while we were on our "educational trip." Since we have beent training for the last six weeks for Mini-Olympics and doing a lot of running, one boy asked if we could run together on the beach in our free time. The other two joined in. Wow! I was completely floored - just because I see that what I am teaching is affecting them. I have also had other students tell me that they went running with their parents, did sit-ups with their aunts and uncles, or have anti-prespirant and not deoderant (this was after we did the health unit on what was better for us.) It is nice to know that I am making a small difference.

\manda

Where are all the dogs?

So another circus is in town. And dogs have started to disappear. Rumour has it that the dogs get fed to the circus animals. This apparently happened last year with another circus.

Yes, I think Sigua could do with a few less dogs.

But elephants, zebras, and camels are herbivores.

ohh...but it might be the tigers.

Some pics.

\manda

Southern Honduras

Last week we went on a type of "educational trip" (in quotations for a reason - depends on your definition of education.) We had a good time and really became more familiar with towns in Honduras.

Depart: 4:15AM (ahhh....)

Most of the day is spent in the bus with a stop at Zanmorano - a very prestigious agricultural school. (picture at right)

The next day we are off in a boat to see the Golf of Fonseca - which are the primary straits for the southern port in Honduras. It is through these straits that all automobile imports come from Asia: Kia, Mitsibushi, Toyota, and others that I forget.

Then we went off to visit Choleteca - which I later learned is call the Devil's Cauldron because it is so hot. And it is HOT!! In some places the ground was cracked - and dry season has not even started. You can see here the yellowness of the ground from lack of water.

The next morning off we went to visit Isle de Tigre upon which Amapala (town) is located. From these boats we could see El Salvador, Honduras, and Nicaragua!! It was pretty sweet. I even got a message on my cell phone saying "Bienvenidos a El Salvador."

We then spent the afternoon on the beach -

That night we checked out the town where our hotel was - San Lorenzo. They had these enormous statues of different random animals. Yes - this ia a giant shrimp. I think, but am not sure, that San Lorenzo may be considered the shrimp capital of Honduras - I need to find a reason for having this statue.

Finally it was time to go home - and we stopped on the way at a town called Prespire (or something close to the word perspire in English.)

I really was blessed to get to know my students in a different environment and in a different way.

I may still be recovering from lack of sleep.

For more pics: here

The Art of Coffee Harvest...

Last week we went to a finca (farm) where coffee is grown and harvested. For all you coffee-drinkers out there I wanted to show you that there is quite the process that goes into your drink. I also apologize to those of you who know more them me about this process - if I am mistaken at any point please feel free to correct me.

1) The beans are picked by hand of the trees. They look like this: (kind of reminds me of the stuff we use at Christmas.

2) Next they are run through this machine which removes the outermost shell. (The red shell.) This is done in Honduras by hand. Notice the pile of shells in the background.

3) They come out looking like this. Then they are dried in the sun. After another machine removes the membrane that is covering the bean (that is why it is white.)

4) Then it is roasted. The wood that is used and different factors affect the flavour of the bean.

5) Then it is either bagged and sold for you to grind - or it is ground a packaged.

6) You make coffee.

7) You drink it.

8) You enjoy it.

\manda

Science Fair

This past Friday was the Science Fair at our school - and I have to say that I was really impressed with many of the student's work. Grade 7-9 did theirs in English and Grade 10-11 did theirs in Spanish. The theme was the environment and they built models about water purification, mines, plant growth, soil type, the damage of pollution etc.

For some pics:

\manda