The only thing I'm sure of is the fact that I'm not sure

I am in a place in my life right now where nothing is sure. In fact, the only thing I am sure of right now...is the fact that I'm unsure. In no specific order:
- I have no job (or no fixed income)
- I have no place to live (other than my parents, thanks dad and mom)
- I have no idea when, or even if, I will be able to graduate
- I have no idea what community/church I am being called to be a part of
- I am not really sure how/where I am being called to use my gifts, heart and training

In short, NOTHING, in my life is sure. No, let's correct that: nothing, from a worldly perspective, in my life is sure.  But daily, even hourly, I am called to remind myself of the words "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added onto you." Now, I am not saying to do A ("seek the kingdom of God") in order to receive B ("all these things") - because if we are seeking A for the purpose of B, then we are not really seeking A at all. No, I am saying that God is calling me to a kingdom mindset, even more so in a time where a lot of logistical things can (and honestly, at times they do) make me anxious.

What does it mean to seek the kingdom of God, in a time where I don't even understand or can't count on certain things (such as income) in order to live? Well, isn't that really the question? What does it mean to really live? What does it mean to seek, to look out for, to search after the reign of God? In a time like this, it means that it starts in my own heart. To let God's kingdom come into my own heart. To allow Him to work on all those anxieties, that lack of trust, that fear, and to transform my heart. It means to become even more a citizen of heaven, a person who is concerned with the heart of him/her self, and the hearts of others. In short, it is about the type of person that I am in this time of uncertainty. Because the type of person I am will change the way that I live in this time, and in that, I hope I can begin to have a greater understanding of what it means to truly live.

John Ortberg on Spiritual Disciplines

If you want a quick but excellent summary and purpose of spiritual disciplines: Listen here. It's worth it.

"Sunday comes around...every week."

As my first foray into "official" preaching winds down (six weeks of sermon prep and service prep and leading straight) I reflect on a few things that I have learned in the process:

1) No matter what, every week, every seven days, Sunday comes around. Meaning no matter what, something needs to be ready and prepared within just over 144 hours. But whose counting?

2) A Sabbath is a must. God is a wise God - and His command to take a break is for our benefit. Let me put it another way: there should be a WHOLE 24 hour period where you do NOT think about the sermon - or where you repeat to yourself "I will not think of next Sunday's sermon - over and over.
3) Let go of your perfectionist tendencies. I know I had to. I am so self-critical that if I begin to reflect and knit-pick everything that isn't right or can be done better then I lose the hope that I am meant to embody in my message.
4) Keep your eyes fixed upward. The moment you start worrying about what people are going to say then something else has entered into the process of learning God's truth for that week.
5) It really is true "The heart of a man plans His step, but the Lord directs His paths." Many times I began my message by thinking I was going in a certain direction, and God almost surprised me by where I ended up.The steps I took through the sermon preparation process were the ones needed to keep me moving, but God had my course and destination a head of time. I just had to get there.
6) When you are weak, then God is strong.

7) I know that I want to see more and more people involved in worship - from prayer, to reading of Scripture, to collection, to greeting, to hospitality, to worship leading, to singing, etc. Why the same people doing the same things? Man! I loved it when people get to participate. (Plus it lets me focus more on the one thing I need to focus on in a worship service.)



\manda

The real test of preaching...

"The real test of preaching is not the praise of the public, nor even its faithfulness to the original Greek of the biblical text, but rather the ability of the pastor's sermon to evoke a prophetic people." 

(taken from William Willimon's Proclamation & Theology) 

The past few weeks have marked the first time I have "preached" (though I have "shared", lead chapels, bible studies, and other things) in front of a church, and while I have  been encouraged by the feedback I have received, I find myself wrestling with the question deep within myself: Is what I am proclaiming in my Sunday endeavors eliciting any change in the people who are hearing it? Is it making any difference?

I know that it is the job of the Holy Spirit to move, to convict, to motivate, to encourage, to fan to flame God's people. I know that. Deep down inside. (And I find that SO relieving because it is not my job to change people, it is to proclaim the Gospel. The Holy Spirit changes people.) And I realize I most likely will not see the fruit of my labours. However, I cannot help but wrestle and pray that the words that I speak are being used to penetrate deep enough to inspire heart-change. I don't want to be told that I had a good sermon, or am a good speaker. I want to know how it has/or will change perspective, or change life.

Please Lord let me be faithful to declare your Word.

\manda

Prayer:

Remember there is absolutely nothing outside the reach of God. And since He is outside of time, it is never too late to pray about anything."

Isaiah 65:24, "I will answer them before they even call to Me.

The Horror of Living in a country at war...remembering Christians around the world

Pray for ICC Supported Orphans in Burma


I just wanted to let you know that one of our worst fears has been realized. Our orphanage in Burma was attacked by the Burmese army last night.
The orphanage was a new project for us. The buildings (dorms, church, and a school) had just been finished in April. We had 30 kids in the orphanage. Their stories, such as the ones below, are heartbreaking.

My name is Kham Loo, I am 13 years old. I have been here for eleven months. My parents were killed in Burma. I am an only child. It was very dangerous for me to get here. I had to avoid the many landmines. I saw the Burmese soldiers come into my village and have witnessed many of my friends being murdered. Many girls have been raped and then killed by Burmese soldiers. Other girls who were gang raped became crazy. The Burmese soldiers also took our harvest.

My name is Seng Mon. I am 11 years old. I have been here four months. It took me one day to travel here. My father died and my mother was taken away by the Burmese soldiers. I came here, because in Burma it is very dangerous. I have seen the Burmese soldiers raping girls. There are many landmines around our village in Burma. I feel safe here and I want to learn to speak English.

The project was such a success that another 60 kids (persecuted and traumatized by war but not orphans) had come to the orphanage for an education and relative safety (compared to living without defense in the jungle on the constant run from the army). But last night, these kids were trapped and had to flee in the middle of the night. The only way to safety was across the river into Thailand (photo at right). Not all of the kids knew how to swim so we are on pins and needles waiting to hear what happened. The initial report is that most survived (Praise God!!).
A few days ago our representative on the ground had warned us that there were fears that the Burmese army might attack because the fighting was getting increasingly close and the Burmese army was going to make a final push this year to defeat the Karen people.
Well, last night those rumors became reality. Here is the report from our partners on the ground.

As far as we know, we have 400 children and some adults on the Thai side, somewhere in hiding in a ____________. It is rainy season and kids need to get clothes and plastic tarps and rice for now.

The army attacked the camp in Burma first, then went and crossed the river and went into Thailand! They then crossed the river again from the Thai side into the other camp, our kids were trapped and could not run deeper into Burma because there were landmines placed around the camp. The only way to escape was to cross the river into Thailand. This created, of course, major panic. Many of the little ones cannot swim and it was pitch dark. (The initial report is that) most of the children survived though they are traumatized and don't have dry clothes or food to eat. Please, Please, pray for this urgent situation.

We will keep you updated as we learn more. Obviously, we want you to pray and ask for help for these kids. Also, if you want to help with financial needs for the kids, you can go to http://www.persecution.org/suffering/donation.php and include in the note that your gift is for the "Burma orphanage."

Thank you,

Jeff King
President, ICC

International Christian Concern
P.O. Box 8056
Silver Spring, MD 20907
Phone: (800) ICC-5441
Fax: (301) 585-5918