Look in the right direction...

I was conflicted. That's what happened. To use a metaphor: it was like I had tasted something REALLY good, and I was intrigued by it and wanted to examine it closer - but at the same time I had grown up thinking this thing was inedible. So...what to do?

Well, for starters I sought the council of many people. I had done a lot of reading, biblical and otherwise, on the topic for a number of years. Yet there did not seem to be a conclusive and decisive opinion. I had friends and family, literally, in both "camps" - those who felt it was not right (thinking of specific texts in Timothy and Corinthians, the curse following the Fall, etc) and those who were surprised by my struggle because they had grown up in churches with female pastors (think that these texts in Timothy and Corinthians were more contextual then we realized, that all are equal in Christ, etc.) I felt myself pulled in two directions. Pulled in two horizontal directions and if I wasn't careful I would end up breaking trying to appease one or the other.

Until I realized I was looking in the wrong direction.

I needed to look upwards. Toward God. What did HE have to say about this? And more specifically what did HE have to say about me?

In that I realized a few things:

1. Preaching is a gift - it is a proclamation of the Gospel. And that, my friends, can only come from one place: God Himself. Our sinful nature, our self-reliance, our desire for autonomy all naturally screams for the opposite of the Gospel. To proclaim Him victorious & Him risen is something that only comes from God.

2. God would not give a gift that would make one of His children less like what He has planned in His redemption of creation. That simply would not make sense. If it was not His plan to have women preach, then no female would ever have the gift to preach.

3. God does not make mistakes. He created me EXACTLY as I am meant to be, and because I am pursuing Him I am becoming even more like He would have me be. Not less so. Which means that this is part of my sanctification as well. Moreover, He takes delight in me, which includes the gifts He gives me.



So I realized that I had a choice in front of me: I needed to choose between FEAR or FAITH. I could make my choice and shrink in FEAR of what others (family and friends) would say regarding this part of my life OR I could make a choice and step in FAITH, trusting in the character of God and His plan for me.

So I took the step.

to be continued...

\manda