Well, I came down here with the plan of teaching for one year - and then return to Canada to work so that I could afford to get my masters. "My plan" - as I like to call it - is open to modification - I just did not expect that modification to perhaps take the form of staying down here for another year. Hmm... About a month ago I received and email from my parents - in it was one line that had the effect of shattering my mental state (in regards to future plans) "Your dad and I think that you should consider staying down for another year" wrote my mom. I stepped back from the computer and then stepped back to it - and read it again. Yep. It still was there. Now, this was something I had never before considered - and my immediate reaction was "Well, God will have to make it pretty obvious if He wants me to stay." I called my parents to ask if there was a specific reason that they had written this : "we just thought you needed to keep all your options open." Okay - fair enough - so I began to pray about it. I think my biggest struggle comes from feeling called to become a biblical counsellor. I want to start that soon - but I also realize that I can start that down here by doing some online courses - plus the school will (hopefully) exist in two years. Studying online would be like a compromise. I also realized that I have finally hit a point with my teaching where I am comfortable enough (many qualifications here: I am never really "comfortable") that I can really minister to my students about Christ and God inside and outside the classroom. I also feel that I am much more at home with the people here - and look forward to getting to know them more. Learning Spanish also has a great appeal - I think that if I worked hard I could be quite fluent. These are all the pluses. The negatives come in the form that getting the masters will be delayed for another year (which is not a bad thing), that I will again be away from family and friends (which is hard - but everyone at home is leaving and changing as well - which in ways makes it easier to be gone), and - I find that the longer I teach the less qualified I feel to be doing it. I see more and more of my weakness the longer that I am teaching - the more I teach the more I realize I need to learn. I guess it comes down to the question: If biblical counselling is something I believe I am called to than would staying down here another year be a stewardly use of my time?
I noticed a change last week - I had gone from "God wil have to make it pretty obvious if He wants me to stay" to "God will have to make it pretty obvious if He wants me to leave." Hmmm, I know that my students want me to stay another year - and so does my bosses.... I think I will have to make a decision pretty soon - but it's just one of those decisions that you know you will REALLY know how you feel about it AFTER you have made the decision. ARGH. So I figured that I would write my thoughts on my blog - and get the opinions of those who know me and love me. So, what do you think?
\manda
5 comments:
Wow! This will be a tough choice! I have no advice as to whether or not you should stay... All i can say, is that in the grand scheme of things (being your life)one year is really not that long...Keep this in mind, because it may make making a decision easier. I think you have the choice between two really great things... I don't think you can make a wrong decision here. I'll pray that God helps you choose!
AND... I miss you! (just thought i'd throw that in there...can't wait to have a good chat with you when you do get back, when ever that is)
Well you know what I think!! Selfishly speaking I would LOVE for you to stay here another year - someone to live with - and you can house sit with me (rent free ish) at the O'Connors newly built house, up by the camp til end of Jan09!! Perfect! I truly do believe that you have worked so hard at teaching this year that a) teaching will be easier next yr,b) you would be able to see some of the fruits of your labours, c) the children and friends have just got to a place where they are comfortable with you, why not develop this further instead of leaving when it's just got good and d) the more life experience you have the better counsellor you will make!
That's just what I think (again!).
Please, please stay!!!!
Much as I'd love to see you back in Hamilton again, I kinda think you should stay. You'll teach that much better for having gotten used to the whole teaching gig, and you've got real momentum in both teaching and Spanish that you can build on. One year in the context of your whole life is not huge, and you're already out of being-in-school mode. I think it comes down to this: how urgent do you feel your call to Biblical counselling is? Like you say, you've got to a point where you can minister to your students, so (should you stay) your next year might be even more productive than the first.
If you stay longer, then I have more time to save up for a trip out there. (btw, when's a good time to visit? Would you come back for the summer, or stay there/travel through the summer?...)
Actually, I think, if you weren't kind of intrigued by the idea, then you wouldn't be considering it so seriously...
It's kinda neat how what God calls you to can sometimes morph into something a lot different from what you originally decided He was calling you to...can be painful, but hey. John the Baptist thought God was calling him to be a herald for the Messiah, and expected that the Messiah would get him out of prison so he could continue to be his herald...and then John was beheaded.
It doesn't sound like decapitation is near in your future though, so that's exciting. :P
Hello my long-lost roommate...
looks like you've hit the proverbial fork in the road. I wanted to respond to the good steward comment you made in regards to staying a year longer... two ways to look at it: 1)God could grow you and give you even more "field" experience should you decide to stay longer--experience that would help you as a Biblical counsellor when you graduate 2)you always seek to be a good steward of where God places you and thus, you will be. You are a willing vessel and therefore, He will indeed use you regardless of where you are because of your heart.
I hope this helps encourage you. I will pray that you will have joy in whatever decision you make and that God will continue to bless you because of your faithfulness.
Lots of love--- Lisa Gaytan-Berg =)
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